User blog:~Starlord Peter Quill/The Reason Why / I'm Sorry
Hello, Sukie here. I just want to say I'm very sorry for being depressed I can't help it. I ran out of my meds and I haven't had my meds since Saturday. I'm trying so hard to be strong but I'm on edge all the time, I literally can't seem to take this anymore. What I mean by "this" is I feel like I'm suffocating and I have this anxiety that won't quit. I'm not trying to get attention, it's just I rather explain my feelings here in this blog. Cause really this seems like a journal. Also I know none of you would ever judge me. I am really trying to stay strong but I feel like I want to give up and I just want to break down and cry. I feel as if my heart is breaking over this depression that I feel. I feel as if I'm never going to get better. I'm sorry for always being depressed I'm very sorry, I just can't be strong anymore. All I really want is to just feel happy like I use to, but no with all things I was dealt with throughout the course of my life. Why did this have to happen to me, why can't it just go away like a cold or the flu. But no I didn't decide, this is a sickness that can't get better and I can't just get over it. One day I just want to be happy just for one fucking day.... Maybe I will get better it will take time, but I just need to be strong, as strong as I can try to be. I know I can do this it will take time, I just need everyone to not feel pity for me or empathy, I do't really need it or manily deserve it. But the thought does count as anything, I guess maybe I need to just take time to relax or something. Today was a good day in a way, 1.) I didn't have a break down / panic attack 2.) I didn't give up when things got hard 3.) I had Dylan (My BF) by my side through it all 4.) I tried my best to be happy even though I am hurting inside But in all honesty I think I can make it and not give up, it will take time just believe in me. Depression is sign not a weakness. In all honesty i am a strong person compared to what I was when i was younger, and well being wise made me excell. I just have to execpt this sickness and not let it get the best of me, do I wish i never had it? Yes I wish that all the time that my sickness could just go away but i know depression isn't like that. it one of those things in life where you have no control over and you just got to deal with it. If just dealing with it day by day is what i have to do, then I will do just that. Category:Blog posts